2016: A Look Back

2016: A Look Back

         It is probably safe to say that 2016 was quite the year, for both better and for worse.

            In one single year, we saw the following: the death of the gorilla Harambe became an Internet martyr; the United Kingdom exited the European Union in what became known as “Brexit”; an alarming and tragic number of celebrities and icons passed away; the world looked the other way as Syria was subject to bombings; the future of the United States became uncertain when the country voted billionaire and controversial figure Donald Trump to be the 45^th President.

            As I said: 2016 was quite the year.

            But for this writer, 2016 proved to be the most challenging year yet.

            As my second semester at California State University, Northridge neared the end, my family was dealt a great blow when my father, Nick Urmanita, passed away after an eight-month long battle with cancer. He was only 58 years old.

            Prior to his death, I was told two months before that my dad had chosen to quit chemotherapy, as the procedure only worsened his pain. He instead decided to live out the remainder of his days surrounded by loved ones, choosing quality over quantity. I was happy to have returned home for that final week he was alive, spending all the time close to him until his passing.

            I had come to terms to my father’s inevitable passing beforehand. Nonetheless, my father’s passing forever remains as one of the most difficult points in my life. Naturally, it is always hard to lose a loved one, particularly if it’s a parent. What made it more so for me was, despite my father and I getting along just fine and loving each other just as well, I always felt that I never spent as much time with him while he was still alive. Which was why every moment I spent with him during those long and difficult eight months.

            When the next semester came along, I started off the semester just fine. But the stress of the semester, combined with the grieving of my father’s loss and learning of a former high school classmate’s tragic death almost led to me experiencing a mental and nervous breakdown. It was a phone call with my mother that prevented the breakdown, and I returned home for a weekend to work on a paper and refresh myself. That moment, along with my father’s death, showed me that even though my future is in Los Angeles and that I should always look forward to the future, I will forever miss home and the people I left behind.

            As 2016 comes to a close, I only have one real resolution for 2017: to see what the New Year brings. Until then, I want to thank everyone this year that was there for me when I really needed it. I feel truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

            Cheers, everybody. See you in 2017.

Suicide Squad: A Review (With very minor Spoilers)

Suicide Squad: A Review (With very minor Spoilers)

(Originally posted on Facebook 08/26/2016)

By Eric Urmanita

Ooookkkaaaayyyy then.......

So, I finally saw the third movie in the DC Extended Universe. It took me exactly three weeks to see the dang movie. So, what do I think of Suicide Squad? And on top of that, was it a better movie than Batman V Superman (the theatrical cut, at least. Expect me to review the Ultimate Edition later on down the line.)? Honestly, I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t think it was a critical hit either, but I can’t bring myself to hate this movie outright. This movie is definitely more fun and entertaining than BvS. Let me rephrase: less dark and broody, and more emotionally investing. BvS was also emotionally investing (for me, at least), but Suicide Squad is just a tad bit more of a thrill ride. Here are the positives: 1. By far, the cast.

- Will Smith is Will Smith and fits his role as Deadshot, so that’s all I can say about him.

- Jai Courtney’s role in the movie as Captain Boomerang is my favorite role of his by far, as he’s butchered so many other roles in the past.

- Viola Davis IS Amanda Waller, and she steals every scene she is in. This is not a woman you want to mess with.

- Margot Robbie. She gives a pretty good performance as Harley Quinn, don’t get me wrong. But unfortunately, she tends to be PRETTY annoying. But overall, I can’t hate her.

- Jay Hernandez as El Diablo was the surprise hit. A villain with a conscious seeking redemption. That’s all I’ll say about him.

- Joel Kinnaman is fine as Rick Flagg. That’s all.

- Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc. Again, fine. ‘Nuff said.

- And of course, Jared Leto as the greatest supervillain of all time, the Joker. Unfortunately, he’s not in this movie a whole lot and I’d like to see more of him, but from what we see, I dig it. I look forward to seeing more of this version of the Joker.

2. The characters in this movie are characters audiences can more emotionally invest with than Batman V Superman (again, the theatrical cut at least), and that’s something you want out of your movie characters: being able to relate with audiences. And character motivation is also made more clearer (at least I think it does).

3. Like I said, Suicide Squad is more entertaining and more fun. I found myself laughing quite a bit throughout the film.

4. The cameos. That’s right, Ben “Batfleck” Affleck is back for a brief moment here and there, and he continues to prove that he’s earning his keep as Batman. Also, the brief 5 to 10-second cameo of The Flash was great.

And now, the negatives.

1. What I really didn’t like was the editing. Good God, it was almost like Baz Luhrmann edited this movie. There was consistent editing/pacing, but when it went nuts, it tended to throw me off. Heck, Batman V Superman was more consistent in its editing/pacing than Suicide Squad.

2. Unfortunately, some of the cast is wasted here.

- I liked Karen Fukuhara’s performance as Katana, but she was way underused, and I really wanted to see more of her and interact more with the cast.

- Cara Delevingne. I think she’s gorgeous as well as talented, but she sucks in this movie as a villain. Enchantress’s motives aren’t really made any clear, and it’s hard to tell what the heck she wants.

- It breaks me to say this, but Jared Leto’s Joker. I really wanted to see more of him in this movie since he’s so heavily marketed in advertisements, but his screen-time is so limited. Heck, he should have been the main villain in this movie. It would have been much more interesting. I pray to God that he gets more screen-time in the solo Batman movie. 3. The dialogue at times was pretty predictable. 4. The way they set up characters (Deadshot and Harley Quinn especially) is off-balanced. I feel like these flashbacks could have been integrated into the greater plot rather than the way they were in the first act. 5. WWWWAAAAYYYYY too much neon for my taste.

Overall, Suicide Squad is pretty solid. It definitely has its flaws, but it’s more enjoyable and entertaining than I thought it was. I’m going to give Suicide Squad a 3/5.

But was it a better movie than Batman V Superman? Well, it’s definitely better than the theatrical cut.

Before you ask, yes, I’ll go over the Ultimate Edition of Batman V Superman eventually. Alright, 5 superhero movies down. One more to go in November. I’m looking at you, Doctor Strange.

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice – Ultimate Edition Review

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice – Ultimate Edition Review

By Eric Urmanita

Warning: Spoilers to follow

All right, it’s been two months since the film’s release on DVD and Blu-Ray, and I have finally gotten around to put my two cents into this thing.

So, when Batman V Superman first opened in theaters, it was released to a wide load of mixed responses. For the most part, the reviews were pretty vicious. And then of course, there are those who adamantly loved it and are willing to go to great lengths to defend it.

Where do I stand on the spectrum of things? Well, I did post a small review of the theatrical on Facebook here the second time I saw it. Here is that review.

“The story unfortunately, is not a very strong one. While it is there, the themes and morals it tries to convey are not very well played out to their potential. Which is a shame, because this movie truly did have potential. Editing and pacing wise, it's still pretty well done. Just nothing to write home about. It is a visual spectacle. This is something that Zack Snyder is very good at. He and the film's cinematographer Larry Fong definitely have made a great visual piece. If only Zack Snyder could work on what really matters: story and characterization. Oh, and how about some COLOR too. What still remains excellent for me are Ben Affleck's Batman (he is by far the best live-action Batman I've seen), Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman (whose solo film I really am eager to see and I really wish she was in this movie more), and the action scenes, which Zack Snyder is indeed very good at. And the acting is very strong, and very powerful as well despite the dialogue. At least I believe so. Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor is still a huge miscast. Overall, while the film most certainly has problems, there was still enough for me to really enjoy and like it. On an out of 5 rating, 5 being "I'd like to thank the Academy", and 1 being "What the serious ****?!?".....I give it a 3/5: "Not bad. Good film. Needs improvement but good start."”

Before I go any further, here’s the thing. I wasn’t expecting this movie to be a masterpiece. I was just hoping it to be a solid comic book movie. And I honestly think it did for various parts. Now, I have said this in the past and I will say it again: while I do genuinely like this movie, I can still do a 180° and tell you all the problems this movie has. That’s what separates me from the fanboys who will blindly fight back the haters: I can like things, point out the flaws, and still like the things I like. That’s the thing since I decided to become a filmmaker and being in film school for a couple of years now: I’ve come to analyze films more critically and form opinions based on my observations. And at the end of the day, it’s really just a matter of opinion. Most people I personally know truly did not like Batman V Superman, while only a select few I know really liked it. Heck, just go onto Facebook and read the comment sections and threads of people b******g back and forth (which is yet another constant reminder that fanboys only make things worst), and that the arguments are so pointless. Because, again, the only opinion that really matters is your own. Don’t let someone tell you otherwise, and/or don’t be discouraged by an aggregated percentage on Rotten Tomatoes (seriously, I still cannot believe the fanboys that petitioned to shut the site down). Bottom line, if you like something, then by all means, go ahead and like it. If you don’t like something, that’s also perfectly fine.

But I digress.

So, naturally, when it was announced that an extended version of the film was announced, complete with 30 minutes more of footage and an R-rating for violence, I was intrigued to say the least. So, the first day the movie came out on Blu-Ray (complete with a digital copy), I went and bought myself a copy. I watched the digital copy on my own, and then waited to see if anyone wanted to join me in watching the Blu-Ray. Unfortunately, I had to return to college before I got the chance, so I watched the Blu-Ray by myself (like I usually do. Sad, I know).

The general consensus for the Ultimate Edition seems to be that it’s a better version than the theatrical cut, being a more coherent story and filling in some of the major gaps, plus character motivations, development, and portrayal are better depicted. So, did everything ring true? Was the Ultimate Edition truly a better version of the film?

Well, yes and no.

First off, calling this movie the “Ultimate Edition” is ridiculous, because they make it sound like this is the best thing in the history of cinema. This is, and will always be to me: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – Director’s Cut. Because this is what this version is: the director’s cut. And while Zack Snyder is still not the best director in the world, he’s still by far not the worst director either because that man can still pull off some darn fine visuals and he genuinely has made some good movies in the past, such as 300 and Watchmen.

But let’s move onto the film itself.

Right away, the one thing that’s greatly explored more is the North Africa sequence. Pretty much everything surrounding the North Africa sequence because it ties into Lex Luthor’s motivations, actually. We see Lex’s mercenaries actually perform the actions meant to be blamed on Superman play out, and we later find out that the woman who spoke to the committee was bribed by Luthor to badmouth Superman and further destroy his reputation; Said woman also decides to blow the whistle on Luthor, but gets killed as a consequence. Furthermore, we see that the crippled man, Wallace Keefe, that blows up the Senate hearing actually didn’t intend to blow it up, and that it was once again Lex Luthor’s design. Still, even if Lex Luthor’s motivations are made more clear, it doesn’t quite excuse them from the fact that Lex’s plan still kind of sucks.

Also, Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. What the **** even.

Lois Lane’s storyline is more elaborated on, and she’s no longer just there. She actually helps move the plot along. She’s the one who finds out Wallace Keefe was framed and her investigation into the Africa incident does move the plot forward. She’s still kind of not super important in the movie, but at least she’s just not there and does serves a purpose. I should point out that one of the scientists she works with is the character played by Jena Malone, who ultimately really did not need to be in this movie.

The biggest glaring difference this time around is that Superman actually has more of an arc and character development. We get to see Clark Kent go to Gotham and actually form his own views on the Batman instead of him just pulling these views straight out of nowhere. Heck, Superman actually helps people injured in the Senate bombing, making him come off more as a hero and not just some guy with powers standing around and moping. The more explored Superman portions of the plot really make this more balanced between the titular characters. And in the end, the extra footage really puts Superman in a more positive light.

The overall story of the film is overall genuinely better. It is indeed more coherent with all the aforementioned reasons and it definitely feels and looks more of a film. However, the story is just average now as a result. At least it’s better than being too terribly executed.

I find the film’s editing still about the same: pretty good, just nothing to write home about. The cinematography is still gorgeous. That’s it.

Like I said before in the original review, Ben Affleck has proven himself to be one heck of a Batman. His killing criminals aside, I find his Batman more true to the original comic book version than I did the previous portrayals. Heck, even those I know who hated this movie really thought his performance was excellent. He’s tied with Christian Bale at this point since I still need to see more of him in action. But Kevin Conroy still takes the title as the best Batman actor overall.

Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman remains powerful and beautiful, and her chemistry with Ben Affleck’s Batman still remains a great highlight of the film.

One thing I definitely like about this movie after seeing it is the score. Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL really delivered on making some of the most powerful and emotional music I’ve heard in a motion picture. Again, another thing that people who hated BvS actually liked as well.

So, yeah. Overall, Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – Director’s Cut is indeed the better version of the film. While it still has plenty of flaws and is by all means nowhere near a masterpiece and runs a bit longer, if you can push the running time aside, I believe that it is worth the watch. It does make me wonder how the criticism would have been had this version been the actual one released in theaters. Maybe it would have gotten more of a 50% on Rotten Tomatoes. But it’s just my opinion. And I get why it wasn’t the version released: longer running time meant fewer screenings and an R-rating would scare audiences away. I will say this though: if you didn’t like the theatrical cut, then you may not like this cut either. But you never know, really. And that’s perfectly okay.

After seeing this cut, I am going to change my rating for the theatrical cut. I ultimately will give the theatrical cut a 2/5, while the director’s cut gets the original 3/5. Add in an extra .1 point due to my personal enjoyment, and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – Director’s Cut gets an official 3.1/5.

Alright, glad I finally got that review out of the way. This will be the first in a couple long-overdue movie reviews I have wanted to do this year. The next long overdue review will be on a certain movie that I enjoyed more than any other movie this year. Until then, thanks for reading, and I’ll catch you all later!

Deadpool and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – How two very different superhero movies came at the right time in my life.

Deadpool and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – How two very different superhero movies came at the right time in my life.

By

Eric Urmanita

NOTICE: this paper talks about two films that might give away spoilers. So if you have not seen them, go and watch them. Then again, who gives a “you-know-what?”

            For eight long months from the fall of 2015 to the spring of 2016, I went through the toughest, challenging, and most tragic moment of my life.

            In late September of 2015, my father was operated on for a spinal cord surgery. His back had been bothering him for quite some time since the beginning of that summer. It was revealed that it was much worse: my father had developed a tumor on his spine, and from there he developed metastatic cancer in various spots through his body. At first, despite being caught at late stages, his condition was believed to be treatable. And for a time, it was. My father responded well to chemotherapy, and it looked like he was going to make it out okay and recover from his surgery and walk again.

            The game changed for the worse during Christmas. His pain had increased, and the tumor in his spine increased to the point where my father lost the ability to walk. But the true blow came in the form of the fact that the chemotherapy was only making it worse. Eventually, my father decided to end chemo, as the cancer had become terminal at this point. My father therefore to spend the rest of his days surrounded by loved ones, family and friends alike.

            He passed away peacefully on April 5^th, 2016.

            During the last two months of my father’s life, two superhero films were released that until now, I did not really think were that huge a significance on my life. But then again, every comic book fan such as myself says that about almost every superhero film they see. But thinking about them now, these two in particular came at a point in my life where somehow, they left their mark on me in a significant way

            The first film was a little piece called Deadpool. Based on the Marvel Comics character, it stars Ryan Reynolds as the titular character who is a mercenary with a powerful healing factor, guns and swords, but most importantly a brilliant sense of humor.

            This film was hilarious and full of fun. It was not only a violent and raunchy film, but also an unlikely and surprisingly phenomenal love story.

            But what stood out for me in Deadpool was the character himself. In detail, his origin and character.

            Wade Wilson, Deadpool’s alter ego, was a victim of terminal cancer. He volunteers to undergo an experimental super-soldier process that will not only cure him of cancer, but also grant him superhuman abilities.

            Wade is then literally put through hell. He is beaten, tortured, and eventually is cured of his cancer and given a massively powerful healing factor, but at the cost of disfiguring his entire body.

            Wade’s process is, in turn, an allegory and analogy for cancer patients when put through chemotherapy. And like Wade, my father was put through hell. It was torture for me and my family to see him go through chemo and struggle with the painful side effects that come from treating cancer. And when my father decided to stop chemo and live the rest of his life in peace, it was a fight to keep him comfortable every day. But in the end, it was a relief for him and for us to see him go peacefully, knowing that he is now in a much better place.

            I found it very hard often to get through the day, knowing that my father was in pain and would eventually leave us in time. So I did everything I could to keep it off my mind as a coping mechanism: talking to friends, video games, watching Netflix, being my humorous self, and most importantly dedicating myself to school full time. After all, everyone copes with pain and loss differently. Seeing Deadpool made me realize that his signature humor was, in fact, his own form of coping. He had, after all, felt that he lost everything after being disfigured, from the love of his life to a chance of being normal. As a reader of comic books, it took me until seeing the film to realize that that was Deadpool’s way of coping with the fact that he is a victim of cancer. Of course, I was not the one with cancer, but the point was that Deadpool showed me how a victim of cancer chose to cope with his pain and loss.

When I was home during my father’s last days, seeing Deadpool again made me realize how much the film made an impact on me during a time where I really needed some positivity in my light. It helped to portray the struggles of a cancer patient, and in turn gave me not only much needed laughter, but also similar insight into what my father went through.

Two weeks before my father’s passing, I saw the next film that unexpectedly meant more to me in a way that I am still trying to understand.

The film in question was Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. The sequel to 2013’s Man of Steel, it was the film that many comic book fans wanted to see for decades: Batman (played by Ben Affleck, who in my opinion is the best live-action Batman yet) and Superman (played by Henry Cavill reprising his role from Man of Steel) fighting against each other. This movie also features Wonder Woman, and her actress Gal Gadot nails the part. While the film was not the masterpiece I was hoping it would be, I still really enjoyed it, as there were enough pros for me to like despite the many cons it has.

I really did not think much of it beyond that, until the last four days of my father’s life. I had purchased the film’s official score by film composer Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL (one of the pros I found with the film), and listened to it over and over. Despite its very dark tone that matches the film, there is one track that stood out the most for me.

The track in question for me was titled “This Is My World”, and it accompanies about 6 minutes of the film’s ending. The scenes in question were Superman’s sacrifice to destroy the villain Doomsday, where, much like his first encounter with the villain in the comics, Superman dies defeating the monstrosity. It is followed by a montage of Superman’s memorial and a private funeral for his alter ego Clark Kent. The piece begins with a tragic yet epic heroic beat that matches Superman’s sacrifice to stop Doomsday. It follows with those kind of soft sad notes that sync with Batman and Wonder Woman standing over Lois Lane, as she cradles the lifeless body of the fallen Man of Steel. It then softly lifts up and end with a light and percussion-less first notes of the beginning of Hans Zimmer’s Superman theme.

I do not really know the technical musical terms like I used to when I was in elementary school band, plus I have never had to explain music in that kind of detail. I hope I did okay with that analysis.

How exactly did this play into my father’s passing?

Four nights ago before my father passed, my brother woke me up to go and be with my father, as it was believed that his time was shortly nearing. My father lay there on his rented hospital bed; induced with pain medication and an IV drip, calling out for my mother and his sister/my aunt Myrna. My mother and family friend Roxanne sat and knelt by his side, tears streaming down their cheeks as they assured them that they were there, and how much they were happy to see him in peace. My brother also shed tears as he stroked my father’s bald yet fuzzy hair and joined in on the assured words. I, on the other hand, could not find myself crying. You could say I was still trying to wake up, but I was wide-awake. But at the same time, I assumed that I had come more to terms of accepting his inevitable passing; the tears eventually came some time later after his passing. I held his hand, kissed his hand and forehead, telling him that he had lived a phenomenal life and that he had deserved his rest. Tears were later traded for laughter as my father, despite being able to barely speak, said things that made us all burst into laughter into the morning.

And during that time, there was a moment where I decided to listen to music. I put my headphones into my ears, and looked through the playlist on my iPhone of what to listen to.

Instead of my usual go-to song of Coldplay’s “Fix You”, I found myself listening to “This Is My World”, particularly from the 2:04 mark onward (the aftermath mourning of Superman and the funeral/memorial montage of Superman and Clark Kent). For whatever reason, some odd part of my conscious chose that particular piece and that moment from the piece to listen to. I found it oddly soothing, relaxing and appropriate for the situation as it played into my ears. I later asked my friend Galen if that was messed up, but he argued that it was human, as again, everyone copes differently with loss. And for me, I had chosen to listen to an orchestral sacrificial-themed piece to listen to as my father passed away. I often found myself listening to nothing but that piece up to the moment where my father finally passed peacefully in the care and surroundings of loved ones.

I find it hard to believe that I found comfort in two superhero films, particularly two that I very much enjoyed, during a time where someone that truly shaped who I am today passed on. I guess the moral of the story here, at least for me, but I think everyone can relate…is that we all cope with pain and loss in different ways. For me, it just happened to be two major passions of mine, movies and comic books. And in the end, I am grateful that these came at a point in my life where I truly needed something to lift up my spirits.

Miami Connection: A Movie Review

Miami Connection: A Review from a JewPino

By

Eric Urmanita

*WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS*

When you think of movies that are so bad they are considered exquisite and instant classics, you might think of titles such as Plan 9 from Outer Space, Troll 2, Road House, The Wicker Man, and that timeless classic, The Room. Even The Rocky Horror Picture Show has been added on that list, but I don’t think it belongs on that list. There are plenty others out there trust me, but these are the more popular ones.

So what makes a quote-on-quote “good-bad movie?” Well, the main key factors are usually the poorly written screenplay, less-than stellar acting, editing that looks like a toddler was in charge, and F-Grade directing. There are other factors like behind the scene drama (i.e. production drama, budget concerns), but those previously mentioned are the ones that stand out the most. But what makes these movies so great is that they are just pure gold entertainment. You are bedazzled (or horrified) by what you are witnessing on the screen…and yet you just can’t look away at the crime in progress. And of course, you are probably thinking, “How in the blazing hell did this get made?”

So, why am I talking about good-bad movies? Well, I recently came across one such movie that is so bizarre and so ridiculous…that I have fallen madly in love with it. And every time I watch it, it just keeps getting better and better.

If you are wondering what this movie is, then I must ask you: didn’t you read the title of this review?

But yeah, I am talking about Miami Connection, an independent martial arts movie released in 1988 and rediscovered in 2012, becoming a cult-classic upon its reemergence.

Before we actually get into this review, let’s talk a little backstory, shall we?

Miami Connection was (or rather is) the passion project of Y.K. Kim, a South-Korean native and taekwondo grandmaster who moved to Orlando, Florida in 1978 and opened a popular chain of taekwondo schools. While on a South-Korean talk show, he met Woo-sang Park (Richard Park as he is known in the U.S.), a Korean film director of several low-budget martial arts movies. From their following conversation, they decided to team up and produce a movie together. Originally, it was to star Y.K. Kim opposite another actor as taekwondo brothers in a movie called TaeKwon-Do. When plans for that movie fell apart, Kim and Park started brainstorming another movie, which would eventually become Miami Connection.

Most of the actors in the movie were all students of Y.K. Kim, which explains why everyone in this movie knows martial arts to some degree. Apparently, Y.K. Kim was very popular around Orlando, and that allowed for him to shoot scenes in empty streets of Orlando, where the film was shot (ironic because of the movie’s title, right?). I won’t go into greater details, but like most independent filmmakers, Y.K. Kim took out loans from everywhere to make the film happen. After initial production wrapped, Kim wanted to do some more additional scenes but Woo-sang Park had returned to Korea at that point. Luckily, one of the film’s main actors, Joseph Diamond, had read a book on screenwriting, and wrote said additional scenes that were shot.

Miami Connection was almost never distributed because every major film studio Y.K. Kim brought it to outright rejected the film, calling it trash and garbage and all that good stuff. Eventually, Manson International purchased the distribution rights and released the film in 1988, where it was shown for a mere two weeks before it vanished from existence. Nearly three decades later, Drafthouse Films, a film distribution company based in Austin, Texas, bought a print of the film on eBay for $50, restored it, and re-released it in 2012. Prior to its re-release, Y.K. Kim refused to have it redistributed due to his past experience with Hollywood, but was surprised by the newfound positive reception, and agreed to let the film be seen again.

And the rest from there is history.

So, now that we have that out of the way, let’s dive into the meat of it all. Now I am not going to go into great detail of the movie, as I want to focus on what you could consider the “main story plot points”, followed by own analysis. I say that because there are plenty of scenes that are really just there to pass time and really do not add to the “plot”, or lack thereof.

Oh, by the way, I know I said this earlier, but there are going to be spoilers. So if you don’t want to read the next few paragraphs, skip them and head to the analysis.

*SPOILERS START HERE*

The main gist of the movie is simply this: biker ninjas from Miami seek to spread their cocaine business to Orlando. So what’s the only thing standing in their way? A synth-rock band of taekwondo black belts known as Dragon Sound.

I cannot make that up even if I tried.

Of course, the biker ninjas are not the only enemies Dragon Sound has to face. A gang led by a Chuck Norris wannabe named Jeff wants to take them out because the band’s bassist, John, is in a relationship with Jane, Jeff’s sister. And Jeff is a certified overprotective jerk.

To make matters worse, a rival band also seeks revenge against Dragon Sound because they replaced them as the new house band at a local nightclub. In a scene that I am pretty sure would cause the cops to come running in without hesitation, the rival band and a bunch of hired goons ambush Dragon Sound in an empty street of Orlando, only to be soundly beaten the crap out of by Dragon Sound. This causes the rival band to join up with Jeff’s gang, under the pretenses that any money the rival band makes is Jeff’s.

Okay, really? So, you want to join forces with a gang to take out martial arts musicians, and you have to pay them off for membership?

…Okay then.

Eventually, the feud between Dragon Sound and Jeff’s gang comes to a head when Jeff has the band’s vocalist and main guitarist Tom kidnapped, forcing the rest of Dragon Sound to rescue him. The resulting altercation results in Jeff falling to his death, screaming one of the most boring and monotone “falling to their deaths” screams I’ve ever heard on film. But it makes me laugh my ass off every time I watch it…I am one sick bastard.

The major subplot centers on band member Jim, who reveals to the band that he is not an orphan like the others are, but in fact has a father out there he is searching for. Towards the film’s climax, Jim receives a letter saying that his father has been located and is flying out to Orlando to meet him. The moment when he gets this news is priceless. After telling the others that he has found his father, Jim says one of the greatest and funniest “Oh My God” lines I’ve ever heard. I swear to God it’s like he’s squealing like a schoolgirl.

Meanwhile, news of Jeff’s death has reached the biker ninjas, greatly upsetting the ninja’s leader, Yashito. He vows vengeance on Dragon Sound and declares, “They will not escape the Miami Ninja!” The Miami Ninja, huh? Well, I’ve heard worse ninja clan names from other bad martial arts movies. Thank you, Cannon Films.

Anyways, the Miami Ninja ambush the band on their way to meet Jim’s father. In the resulting fight, Jim gets mortally wounded.

And here is where the movie takes an unexpected “what the ****” turn. To quote Taylor Swift: “Now we got problems. And I don't think we can solve them. You made a really deep cut.
And baby now we got bad blood!”

Almost immediately, Dragon Sound goes absolute bat-**** crazy and out for blood, slashing down ninjas left and right. One of the wounded ninja makes their way back to Yashito reporting that all their fellow comrades are dead. Yashito, in classic evil ninja fashion, rewards the ninja’s loyalty by promptly beheading him before uttering an evil laugh. Yashito then confronts Mark (played Y.K. Kim), the main character of the film and Dragon Sound’s most skilled martial artist in a sword/fist fight. This obviously being a classic good versus evil scenario, Mark of course wins and kills Yashito with his own kunai knife.

Jim is rushed to the hospital and of course lives, his father present to hear the good news and promises to never abandon his son again. The film ends with Dragon Sound walking towards the camera before ending with this title card: “Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace.”

So, violence IS the ultimate answer? Huh, go figure. Did I mention that Y.K. Kim is also a motivational speaker?

*SPOILERS END HERE*

Okay…so where do I start with this one?

First off, I am a fan of martial arts movies. I blame this love on either Power Rangers or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’m surprised I haven’t even taken up martial arts yet for that matter either. I want to, though, but I digress. I have seen my fair share of good martial arts movies and bad martial arts movies. My all-time favorite is still Bruce Lee’s masterpiece Enter The Dragon, which is widely considered to be the greatest of all the martial arts movies.

Miami Connection, on the other hand…wow.

Let me clarify one thing: I love this movie. That being said…boy, do we have a movie to look at.

This is, after all, a bad movie. No questions asked. So let’s discuss the basics.

The plot, though obviously not very well written, was definitely present. Whereas The Room had the main plot point of a malevolent cheating fiancée with added subplots that went ABSOLUTELY nowhere, Miami Connection sticks with, for the most part, the main two plot points of Dragon Sound’s fight against the Miami Ninja and Jeff’s gang and Jim’s search for his father. However, in exchange for unnecessary subplots, we get scenes that go ABSOLUTELY nowhere and serve no further advancement to the plot. Key standpoint: Dragon Sound has EXACTLY a 33-second scene of them eating at Mark’s Uncle’s restaurant before switching gears to them performing at the nightclub. What does this scene meant to be? Maybe to just introduce the fact that Mark has an uncle (who happens to be played by co-director Woo-sang Park), but that’s pretty much it. It’s a scene that you can consider, “Entirely Pointless.” Other pointless scenes include Yashito and Jeff hanging out with a bunch of biker gangs, probably to show that they’re tough guys as the song playing in the background is called “Tough Guys”; several shots of Dragon Sound studying (oh yeah, I forgot to mention they’re still in college); and a single wide shot scene of them eating breakfast and feeding each other while they’re all shirtless (oh yeah, lots of shirtless guys in this movie too).

There’s also scenes that do somewhat advance the plot, but have some of the most ridiculous moments. One of the more popular scenes is when Mark, John, and Jack (Dragon Sound’s drummer) practice taekwondo. I guess the point of this is to demonstrate that Mark is the main ass-kicker of the group (though John is the close second), but he further proves it by stopping a sparring punch in Jack’s mouth and lifts up John by pinching his nose WITH HIS TOES. Oh, and at one point, Mark also sticks his bare foot in Jim’s face. Foot fetish?

Let’s talk about acting. It’s nothing special really, but boy, the people in this movie try. Not to further bash The Room (believe me, I love that movie too), but the acting in Miami Connection is much better. It is pretty cheesy and campy in my opinion, but it works. Jim’s actor, Maurice Smith, is the one that really tries to convey drama and emotion in this movie. When he tells the band the truth about him not being an orphan, you can definitely tell he is giving it his all to this emotional scene and giving a very tearful monologue. But again, it’s one of those moments in the movie that you cannot help but burst out laughing due to word choice. I know I did, and am probably going to Hell for doing so.

Y.K. Kim is…exactly what you’d expect from someone who’s never worked on a movie before. Clearly he had never acted or produced/co-directed up to this point, but he tries. Is he successful? A little. But I find it odd that I can understand him better than Tommy Wiseau when Tommy Wiseau is not dubbing over his own lines. And while we get to see the focus switch to each band member at one point or another in the movie, I would have liked to see more focus on Mark. After all, he is supposed to be the main character of the band and the movie. Just a thought. His directing was not bad, but it could have been a whole lot better. I know that this was his first (and only) film, but you’d think that Y.K. Kim would have at least studied a little bit more on directing. Then again, his co-director Woo-sang Park was also calling the shots and he had directed some crappy martial arts movies, so it’s not entirely all Kim’s fault. There is one thing I think that Kim did that I think was a smart choice. Originally, Jim was supposed to die in the film’s original ending, but test audiences found that ending too depressing, and thus Kim and Joseph Diamond worked on the alternate and true ending. Having seen the dark ending for myself, I think Kim made the right call.

There are some odd editing choices in this movie. The one that stands out for me is the first meeting between Dragon Sound and Jeff’s gang. Right after that, we cut to this 5-second wide panning shot of the band driving away. Where the heck was the transition between scenes? Also, Mark’s uncle confronts some disgruntled customers that refused to pay. One moment, he goes taekwondo on their butts, and then the scene immediately switch to the band pulling up, getting out and checking if the uncle is okay. What in the flying **** happened to the disgruntled customers? Did they leave limping? Were they still lying on the ground hurting on the thrashing they just got? WHAT THE **** HAPPENED?!?!?!!?! One of my favorite edits is when John and Jane kiss, and then we switch to Jim just smiling and nodding in approval…Yeah, that’s not awkward at all. Also, there are times when they decide to slow down parts of the fights for “dramatic effect” I suppose. But I have to admit: those moments make me laugh.

I want to focus now on the music, as it’s one of the movie’s highlights. The music is cheesy and catchy, and perfectly embodies the music of the ‘80s. Angelo Janotti and Kathie Collier, who played Tom and Jane respectively, are actual musicians that wrote and recorded the songs Dragon Sound performs in the movie, “Friends Forever” and “Against The Ninja”. These songs are positive uplifting, but maybe a little too positive. But who cares? I’m a sucker for such music! Additional songs were written by the Lloyds Richards Band and be heard throughout the movie. There is an official soundtrack of sorts, but it can only be purchased via Drafthouse Films’ website when you purchase a DVD or digital copy of the film. Oh, and on a side note, “Friends Forever” is one of the songs used in the video game Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, as the entire game is a nod to ‘80s culture.

And finally, the one thing to always discuss when talking about martial arts movies: the fight scenes.

I’m going to be honest: I don’t think they’re that bad. Yes, of course, they’re nowhere near the fight choreography you see in movies like The Matrix or any Donnie Yen movie for that matter, but it’s not horrible either. It’s somewhere in between. Y.K. Kim clearly put thought into these fights, and it clearly shows. Although in the fight between Dragon Sound and the rival band, there are times where you can tell that the opponents are pausing ahead of getting “hit”. But this is minor at best.

Ultimately, what I think makes movies like The Room and Plan 9 from Outer Space work as good-bad movies is that you can tell there is passion put into them. Unlike filmmakers such as Uwe Boll and…well, just Uwe Boll (yes, even Michael Bay has somewhat of a passion towards his movies), they really care about what they’re making and actually care about the effort put towards the film. Sure, Ed Wood maybe did not put in too much, but he truly was into the business of what he loved the most: making movies. While Y.K. Kim only made this one film, he truly cared about the making of Miami Connection. Like I stated earlier, he took out loans from everywhere to make this movie, and I could really see it in this. Sure, it’s nowhere near perfect, but hot dang is this movie a classic. And he was extremely surprised to know that nearly three decades after Hollywood basically back-slapped him, Drafthouse Films took the film and made it an instant cult classic with its newfound success. What also makes Miami Connection work is that it somehow knows that it’s not a masterpiece and that it’s not meant to be taken seriously. But Gosh Darn it, it knows how to be entertaining.

So yeah, Miami Connection is indeed a bad movie. But’s so awesomely bad.  It truly is one of those movies that has to be seeen to believe. I cannot recommend this movie enough for anyone, movie buff or not. You will be in for a treat. Besides, it’s biker ninjas versus a synth-rock band full of taekwondo black belts. Who doesn’t love that ridiculous yet brilliant concept? It is so totally ‘80s right there.

Sources

League of Super Critics. “Miami Connection – Cinema Snob.” Online video clip. YouTube.

YouTube, 24 Mar 2015. Web. 21 July 2015.

Masochist, Cine. “The Cine-Masochist: MIAMI CONNECTION.” Online video clip. YouTube.

            YouTube, 28 May 2015. Web. 21 July 2015.

“Miami Connection.” Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., 18 July

2015. Web. 21 July 2015.