Deadpool and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – How two very different superhero movies came at the right time in my life.

Deadpool and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – How two very different superhero movies came at the right time in my life.

By

Eric Urmanita

NOTICE: this paper talks about two films that might give away spoilers. So if you have not seen them, go and watch them. Then again, who gives a “you-know-what?”

            For eight long months from the fall of 2015 to the spring of 2016, I went through the toughest, challenging, and most tragic moment of my life.

            In late September of 2015, my father was operated on for a spinal cord surgery. His back had been bothering him for quite some time since the beginning of that summer. It was revealed that it was much worse: my father had developed a tumor on his spine, and from there he developed metastatic cancer in various spots through his body. At first, despite being caught at late stages, his condition was believed to be treatable. And for a time, it was. My father responded well to chemotherapy, and it looked like he was going to make it out okay and recover from his surgery and walk again.

            The game changed for the worse during Christmas. His pain had increased, and the tumor in his spine increased to the point where my father lost the ability to walk. But the true blow came in the form of the fact that the chemotherapy was only making it worse. Eventually, my father decided to end chemo, as the cancer had become terminal at this point. My father therefore to spend the rest of his days surrounded by loved ones, family and friends alike.

            He passed away peacefully on April 5^th, 2016.

            During the last two months of my father’s life, two superhero films were released that until now, I did not really think were that huge a significance on my life. But then again, every comic book fan such as myself says that about almost every superhero film they see. But thinking about them now, these two in particular came at a point in my life where somehow, they left their mark on me in a significant way

            The first film was a little piece called Deadpool. Based on the Marvel Comics character, it stars Ryan Reynolds as the titular character who is a mercenary with a powerful healing factor, guns and swords, but most importantly a brilliant sense of humor.

            This film was hilarious and full of fun. It was not only a violent and raunchy film, but also an unlikely and surprisingly phenomenal love story.

            But what stood out for me in Deadpool was the character himself. In detail, his origin and character.

            Wade Wilson, Deadpool’s alter ego, was a victim of terminal cancer. He volunteers to undergo an experimental super-soldier process that will not only cure him of cancer, but also grant him superhuman abilities.

            Wade is then literally put through hell. He is beaten, tortured, and eventually is cured of his cancer and given a massively powerful healing factor, but at the cost of disfiguring his entire body.

            Wade’s process is, in turn, an allegory and analogy for cancer patients when put through chemotherapy. And like Wade, my father was put through hell. It was torture for me and my family to see him go through chemo and struggle with the painful side effects that come from treating cancer. And when my father decided to stop chemo and live the rest of his life in peace, it was a fight to keep him comfortable every day. But in the end, it was a relief for him and for us to see him go peacefully, knowing that he is now in a much better place.

            I found it very hard often to get through the day, knowing that my father was in pain and would eventually leave us in time. So I did everything I could to keep it off my mind as a coping mechanism: talking to friends, video games, watching Netflix, being my humorous self, and most importantly dedicating myself to school full time. After all, everyone copes with pain and loss differently. Seeing Deadpool made me realize that his signature humor was, in fact, his own form of coping. He had, after all, felt that he lost everything after being disfigured, from the love of his life to a chance of being normal. As a reader of comic books, it took me until seeing the film to realize that that was Deadpool’s way of coping with the fact that he is a victim of cancer. Of course, I was not the one with cancer, but the point was that Deadpool showed me how a victim of cancer chose to cope with his pain and loss.

When I was home during my father’s last days, seeing Deadpool again made me realize how much the film made an impact on me during a time where I really needed some positivity in my light. It helped to portray the struggles of a cancer patient, and in turn gave me not only much needed laughter, but also similar insight into what my father went through.

Two weeks before my father’s passing, I saw the next film that unexpectedly meant more to me in a way that I am still trying to understand.

The film in question was Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. The sequel to 2013’s Man of Steel, it was the film that many comic book fans wanted to see for decades: Batman (played by Ben Affleck, who in my opinion is the best live-action Batman yet) and Superman (played by Henry Cavill reprising his role from Man of Steel) fighting against each other. This movie also features Wonder Woman, and her actress Gal Gadot nails the part. While the film was not the masterpiece I was hoping it would be, I still really enjoyed it, as there were enough pros for me to like despite the many cons it has.

I really did not think much of it beyond that, until the last four days of my father’s life. I had purchased the film’s official score by film composer Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL (one of the pros I found with the film), and listened to it over and over. Despite its very dark tone that matches the film, there is one track that stood out the most for me.

The track in question for me was titled “This Is My World”, and it accompanies about 6 minutes of the film’s ending. The scenes in question were Superman’s sacrifice to destroy the villain Doomsday, where, much like his first encounter with the villain in the comics, Superman dies defeating the monstrosity. It is followed by a montage of Superman’s memorial and a private funeral for his alter ego Clark Kent. The piece begins with a tragic yet epic heroic beat that matches Superman’s sacrifice to stop Doomsday. It follows with those kind of soft sad notes that sync with Batman and Wonder Woman standing over Lois Lane, as she cradles the lifeless body of the fallen Man of Steel. It then softly lifts up and end with a light and percussion-less first notes of the beginning of Hans Zimmer’s Superman theme.

I do not really know the technical musical terms like I used to when I was in elementary school band, plus I have never had to explain music in that kind of detail. I hope I did okay with that analysis.

How exactly did this play into my father’s passing?

Four nights ago before my father passed, my brother woke me up to go and be with my father, as it was believed that his time was shortly nearing. My father lay there on his rented hospital bed; induced with pain medication and an IV drip, calling out for my mother and his sister/my aunt Myrna. My mother and family friend Roxanne sat and knelt by his side, tears streaming down their cheeks as they assured them that they were there, and how much they were happy to see him in peace. My brother also shed tears as he stroked my father’s bald yet fuzzy hair and joined in on the assured words. I, on the other hand, could not find myself crying. You could say I was still trying to wake up, but I was wide-awake. But at the same time, I assumed that I had come more to terms of accepting his inevitable passing; the tears eventually came some time later after his passing. I held his hand, kissed his hand and forehead, telling him that he had lived a phenomenal life and that he had deserved his rest. Tears were later traded for laughter as my father, despite being able to barely speak, said things that made us all burst into laughter into the morning.

And during that time, there was a moment where I decided to listen to music. I put my headphones into my ears, and looked through the playlist on my iPhone of what to listen to.

Instead of my usual go-to song of Coldplay’s “Fix You”, I found myself listening to “This Is My World”, particularly from the 2:04 mark onward (the aftermath mourning of Superman and the funeral/memorial montage of Superman and Clark Kent). For whatever reason, some odd part of my conscious chose that particular piece and that moment from the piece to listen to. I found it oddly soothing, relaxing and appropriate for the situation as it played into my ears. I later asked my friend Galen if that was messed up, but he argued that it was human, as again, everyone copes differently with loss. And for me, I had chosen to listen to an orchestral sacrificial-themed piece to listen to as my father passed away. I often found myself listening to nothing but that piece up to the moment where my father finally passed peacefully in the care and surroundings of loved ones.

I find it hard to believe that I found comfort in two superhero films, particularly two that I very much enjoyed, during a time where someone that truly shaped who I am today passed on. I guess the moral of the story here, at least for me, but I think everyone can relate…is that we all cope with pain and loss in different ways. For me, it just happened to be two major passions of mine, movies and comic books. And in the end, I am grateful that these came at a point in my life where I truly needed something to lift up my spirits.