Deadpool and Batman
V Superman: Dawn of Justice – How two very different superhero movies came
at the right time in my life.
By
Eric Urmanita
NOTICE: this paper talks about two films that might give away
spoilers. So if you have not seen them, go and watch them. Then again, who
gives a “you-know-what?”
For eight long months from the fall
of 2015 to the spring of 2016, I went through the toughest, challenging, and most
tragic moment of my life.
In late September of 2015, my father
was operated on for a spinal cord surgery. His back had been bothering him for
quite some time since the beginning of that summer. It was revealed that it was
much worse: my father had developed a tumor on his spine, and from there he
developed metastatic cancer in various spots through his body. At first,
despite being caught at late stages, his condition was believed to be
treatable. And for a time, it was. My father responded well to chemotherapy,
and it looked like he was going to make it out okay and recover from his
surgery and walk again.
The game changed for the worse
during Christmas. His pain had increased, and the tumor in his spine increased
to the point where my father lost the ability to walk. But the true blow came
in the form of the fact that the chemotherapy was only making it worse.
Eventually, my father decided to end chemo, as the cancer had become terminal
at this point. My father therefore to spend the rest of his days surrounded by
loved ones, family and friends alike.
He passed away peacefully on April 5th,
2016.
During the last two months of my
father’s life, two superhero films were released that until now, I did not
really think were that huge a significance on my life. But then again, every
comic book fan such as myself says that about almost every superhero film they
see. But thinking about them now, these two in particular came at a point in my
life where somehow, they left their mark on me in a significant way
The first film was a little piece
called Deadpool. Based on the Marvel
Comics character, it stars Ryan Reynolds as the titular character who is a
mercenary with a powerful healing factor, guns and swords, but most importantly
a brilliant sense of humor.
This film was hilarious and full of
fun. It was not only a violent and raunchy film, but also an unlikely and
surprisingly phenomenal love story.
But what stood out for me in Deadpool was the character himself. In
detail, his origin and character.
Wade Wilson, Deadpool’s alter ego,
was a victim of terminal cancer. He volunteers to undergo an experimental
super-soldier process that will not only cure him of cancer, but also grant him
superhuman abilities.
Wade is then literally put through
hell. He is beaten, tortured, and eventually is cured of his cancer and given a
massively powerful healing factor, but at the cost of disfiguring his entire
body.
Wade’s process is, in turn, an
allegory and analogy for cancer patients when put through chemotherapy. And
like Wade, my father was put through hell. It was torture for me and my family
to see him go through chemo and struggle with the painful side effects that
come from treating cancer. And when my father decided to stop chemo and live the
rest of his life in peace, it was a fight to keep him comfortable every day.
But in the end, it was a relief for him and for us to see him go peacefully,
knowing that he is now in a much better place.
I found it very hard often to get
through the day, knowing that my father was in pain and would eventually leave
us in time. So I did everything I could to keep it off my mind as a coping
mechanism: talking to friends, video games, watching Netflix, being my humorous
self, and most importantly dedicating myself to school full time. After all,
everyone copes with pain and loss differently. Seeing Deadpool made me realize that his signature humor was, in fact, his
own form of coping. He had, after all, felt that he lost everything after being
disfigured, from the love of his life to a chance of being normal. As a reader
of comic books, it took me until seeing the film to realize that that was
Deadpool’s way of coping with the fact that he is a victim of cancer. Of
course, I was not the one with cancer, but the point was that Deadpool showed me how a victim of
cancer chose to cope with his pain and loss.
When I was home during my father’s last
days, seeing Deadpool again made me
realize how much the film made an impact on me during a time where I really
needed some positivity in my light. It helped to portray the struggles of a
cancer patient, and in turn gave me not only much needed laughter, but also
similar insight into what my father went through.
Two weeks before my father’s passing, I
saw the next film that unexpectedly meant more to me in a way that I am still
trying to understand.
The film in question was Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. The
sequel to 2013’s Man of Steel, it was
the film that many comic book fans wanted to see for decades: Batman (played by
Ben Affleck, who in my opinion is the best live-action Batman yet) and Superman
(played by Henry Cavill reprising his role from Man of Steel) fighting against each other. This movie also features
Wonder Woman, and her actress Gal Gadot nails the part. While the film was not
the masterpiece I was hoping it would be, I still really enjoyed it, as there
were enough pros for me to like despite the many cons it has.
I really did not think much of it beyond
that, until the last four days of my father’s life. I had purchased the film’s
official score by film composer Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL (one of the pros I
found with the film), and listened to it over and over. Despite its very dark
tone that matches the film, there is one track that stood out the most for me.
The track in question for me was titled
“This Is My World”, and it accompanies about 6 minutes of the film’s ending.
The scenes in question were Superman’s sacrifice to destroy the villain
Doomsday, where, much like his first encounter with the villain in the comics,
Superman dies defeating the monstrosity. It is followed by a montage of
Superman’s memorial and a private funeral for his alter ego Clark Kent. The
piece begins with a tragic yet epic heroic beat that matches Superman’s
sacrifice to stop Doomsday. It follows with those kind of soft sad notes that
sync with Batman and Wonder Woman standing over Lois Lane, as she cradles the
lifeless body of the fallen Man of Steel. It then softly lifts up and end with
a light and percussion-less first notes of the beginning of Hans Zimmer’s Superman
theme.
I do not really know the technical
musical terms like I used to when I was in elementary school band, plus I have
never had to explain music in that kind of detail. I hope I did okay with that
analysis.
How exactly did this play into my
father’s passing?
Four nights ago before my father passed,
my brother woke me up to go and be with my father, as it was believed that his
time was shortly nearing. My father lay there on his rented hospital bed;
induced with pain medication and an IV drip, calling out for my mother and his
sister/my aunt Myrna. My mother and family friend Roxanne sat and knelt by his
side, tears streaming down their cheeks as they assured them that they were
there, and how much they were happy to see him in peace. My brother also shed
tears as he stroked my father’s bald yet fuzzy hair and joined in on the
assured words. I, on the other hand, could not find myself crying. You could
say I was still trying to wake up, but I was wide-awake. But at the same time,
I assumed that I had come more to terms of accepting his inevitable passing;
the tears eventually came some time later after his passing. I held his hand,
kissed his hand and forehead, telling him that he had lived a phenomenal life
and that he had deserved his rest. Tears were later traded for laughter as my
father, despite being able to barely speak, said things that made us all burst
into laughter into the morning.
And during that time, there was a moment
where I decided to listen to music. I put my headphones into my ears, and
looked through the playlist on my iPhone of what to listen to.
Instead of my usual go-to song of
Coldplay’s “Fix You”, I found myself listening to “This Is My World”,
particularly from the 2:04 mark onward (the aftermath mourning of Superman and
the funeral/memorial montage of Superman and Clark Kent). For whatever reason,
some odd part of my conscious chose that particular piece and that moment from
the piece to listen to. I found it oddly soothing, relaxing and appropriate for
the situation as it played into my ears. I later asked my friend Galen if that
was messed up, but he argued that it was human, as again, everyone copes
differently with loss. And for me, I had chosen to listen to an orchestral
sacrificial-themed piece to listen to as my father passed away. I often found
myself listening to nothing but that piece up to the moment where my father
finally passed peacefully in the care and surroundings of loved ones.
I find it hard to believe that I found
comfort in two superhero films, particularly two that I very much enjoyed,
during a time where someone that truly shaped who I am today passed on. I guess
the moral of the story here, at least for me, but I think everyone can
relate…is that we all cope with pain and loss in different ways. For me, it
just happened to be two major passions of mine, movies and comic books. And in
the end, I am grateful that these came at a point in my life where I truly
needed something to lift up my spirits.
